Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
I haven't blogged in a while. A good. Long. While. In that time, we've moved twice, started two new jobs and had a baby. Tonight I was sitting here and my fingers started to itch. It's been so long since I've written that I was afraid I'd forogtten how. My students would disagree...they see the sacrifice my pen makes over their assignments daily. But it's not the same. Correcting fragments and misplaced modifiers isn't the same as sifting through my thoughts and stretching my mind. I've missed that.
Maybe part of the reason I stopped writing was because I felt that since I'm a wife and mother now I should conform to writing about wifely and motherly things. I'm not sure I like being put in a box. So I'm not going to. I'm going to write what feels good. What sounds good. What makes sense.
So, when I made the decision to start writing again, I wasn't sure what to say, or how to sort my thoughts. I started searching through my old blog notes and found this quote about patience. When I found the quote, I was struggling with infertility. I was struggling with what God's plan were for That Guy I Married and me. I was struggling with how to fix it all. I was just struggling. And I'm not a patient person. Just ask my mama. She always says that when I want something, I want it yesterday.
But since I found that quote, we've seen so many blessings, so many "God things," to not feel like we've been led here. And not just this town, or this house. But this place. Together. With this beautiful boy who is so happy and sweet and perfect that it almost hurts to look at him. My love for him is outrageous. God taught me to be patient in such a beautiful way. If I had gotten all the things I wanted exactly when I wanted them, my life would have lacked such beauty.
God gives us what we need when we need it. I know that now. I still sometimes want things done yesterday, but maybe I've gained some wisdom. Maybe now, even though I don't like to be patient, I see the purpose in waiting. I see the bigger plan.
So there it is. I've found my prince charming. I have the fairy tale. I've learned to wait. And I've finally grown up.
