I light up

I've spent the better part of 24...almost 25 years searching for my lobster and there was a time in my life when I thought I'd found him. In fact, I was sure he was it...if he would just change the way he spoke to me...or if he could just be there for me when I needed him to...or if I could get him to understand how important my career is to me...or if he...well, you get the picture.

I spent 3 years trying to fit him into my plan...into God's plan...and I never understood why it wasn't working. Part of it might have been that I was doing all the relationship work on my own...but the other, bigger part was that it just wasn't right. And really, I think I knew that. In the back of my mind, I knew if I could just give up on him...on us...then God would answer my prayers and send me the man I needed...but I was stubborn...and more than a little scared. But when I finally let go, when I finally realized the man I thought was my lobster was merely an imitation, my real lobster walked through my door.

And slowly, but surely, God has shown me that I don't have to compromise. He has shown me that I can have all I ever wanted...and so much more. It's unbelievable to me to think I lived so long without the tenderness I have now. It's even more unbelievable to think I was willing to live without it forever.

My new lobster...my perfect lobster...is so much more than I could have ever dreamed I wanted or deserved. He takes care of me...he listens to me...he wants me to be happy...and I'm so very happy with him...

And he says I light up the room when I walk in...what he doesn't realize is, I light up because he's there when I walk through the door...